“I can’t be with you. I’m sorry!” He said showing no compassion on his face. “Please go! Sara will be home soon.” He opened the door revealing a more messed up world outside.
His words crushed my heart as the raindrops from a distance splattered on the ground.
“But… You said you love me…” I uttered, my voice cracking.
He couldn’t look into my eyes.
“Yeah, I should have never said that…” He sighed as he held my face with his cold hands. “I like being with you. You make me happy. You make me do things I never thought I can do. I mean, you make me feel young again, but that’s it.”
That’s it?
“What is wrong with me then? Why can’t you love me back?” I screamed trying to hold back the tears from falling.
“Nothing. You are really perfect, Amy… but I can’t live without Sara. I don’t want to lose her.”
That’s it then! He doesn’t want to lose her, so he rather lose me.
I swallowed my pride just to be with him even though I know I’m just an option. I love him and did everything for him so he can love me back…
I guess it’s my fault, too. I allowed him to make me his second choice. How can he love me then when I can’t even love myself?
I walked out the door without looking back, mind’s floating. I never felt so devastated in my life. I want to disappear. I want to be invisible. I am nothing to him anyway.
I looked at the gray sky as the raindrops touched my face one by one.
What a jerk! I whispered as I crossed the street ignoring the “don’t walk” sign in front of me.
A Real Messy Beautiful Twisted Sunshine 